Open.

Hey Abyss,


Solo Show happened, and it was beautiful.

It was everything I anticipated and more.

I will reiterate the talent that I am surrounded by in my class. All eleven of us are so completely different, it's wonderful. I feel honoured to be part of such a diverse class that has so many things to offer. And really neat to see that we will all be pursuing something completely individual after we graduate next year.

Where has the time gone?

The performance was phenomenal, I don't think I have ever been so nervous.

It was surreal.

I performed on Saturday to a 110 person audience, who beautifully accepted Lioness in all its glory. The opportunity to play with the audience was something that I missed deeply. There is talks of me potentially remounting the piece in Halifax this summer, but that is still undecided. I really don't want that one performance to be the end, as wonderful as it was.

The wave of energy that accosted me when I walked out was something I have never experienced before and was truly remarkable, and once I figured out how to deal with the enormous amount of energy I was home. It brought me back to all the reasons of why I love what I do and what has made me pursue this. That feeling of making people laugh, and transporting them to my world, so we can play together. Simply unforgettable. It also reminded me that is doesn't have to only be my own work that these qualities happen in. This feeling should flow through all my work, I should be affecting people that much in every performance I do, regardless of who wrote the script!

My new goal is: I want to be as open and as brave as I can be in every role. To me, right now, this is the only way to have the audience trust me enough to convince them to follow me down the rabbit hole.

Thank you Adam and Jodi, you are amazing.

We have started rehearsal for A Midsummer Night's Dream and I am playing Theseus. Joe Ziegler is directing us and he is simply awesome. His energy and enthusiasm for the text is infectious and I am stoked to get on my feet with him. I am doing my best to crossover all the work that has been percolating in me from the start of the year into this project, as there is no time like the present.

(More to come on this over the next little bit...)

I read this quote today and I think it is perfect in reminding me how to make compelling work:

"The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake."

I as an actor want to challenge peoples ideas and make them think about what they are seeing, and the only way I can do that is to work hard and give myself over to the art and where it wants to take me.

There is no room for insecurity, only vulnerability.

I am inspired by so many things lately, I feel both focused and pulled open. I want to be in this state for as long as I can. Anything is possible here.

Night Abyss.

March happens to be a good month for me.

Hey Abyss,

These last two weeks have been amazing for me. Similar to last year, this month has proven to be a very cleansing period for me. My March Break was last week, and I worked almost everyday on prep for my Solo Show. I had forgotten what it was like to motivate myself and work on something that I am proud of. That sounds sad, but it isn't. I find myself forgetting to have fun and treat the work that we do at the school as my own, rather than an assignment I have to do.

Solo Show has been truly wonderful at this point in the year, we just came out of our first production where we as a class had to work together like a pseudo theatre company, which was an interesting first experience for some of us, and not as much for others. The whole thing (process. character development, etc.) was a mutual effort, rather than singular processes coming together. Everything is still a learning curve at this point for me, so no judgement. Solo Show is different, because it is completely singular and process based project. We write, perform and produce our own 15-20 minute show. Everyone in my class is doing something completely different, and are each having our own challenges to deal with in front of our directors/collaborators, Adam Lazarus and Jodi Essery.

The Solo Show project at NTS is a right of passage, and I give so much credit to Jodi and Adam for dedicating the time to all 13 of us (this includes the 2nd year playwrights) to make our shows what we want them to be. They truly deserve awards for the patience and attention span they both possess. My script was approved yesterday and I feel a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I consider myself a rather organized performer and can only deal with one thing at a time. I have perfected my character visually, and physically, so the next step for me was getting my script done.

Half of us will be performing on March 22nd and the other half is going on the 23rd. I am really excited to see the changes to my show over the course of the next week. The anticipation to see everyone else's pieces is killing me, because I know everyone is gonna kill it. I am going to keep my show a secret at this point. but will go into more detail after I perform.

Because my class spends so much time together, it is easy to fall into the thinking of "we know so much about each other and our performance abilities", but this project is an opportunity to show our classmates that we are capable of more than what they think, and also to challenge ourselves. I cannot wait to learn something new about everyone. We are all so different, and I tend to forget that sometimes.  When we all graduate we are going back to our communities and what dreams we have in mind, we are not mutually going back together.

This thought occurred to me today; There is no sense in comparing yourself to other people because you can actually never be them. You may be able to emulate them visually, or in their mannerisms. But there is something special about each an everyone of us, and we all fit a particular role, ourselves. The issue that a lot of actors face is whether that niche is what the Casting Directors are looking for. The artists that are prevalent now, have a certain personality or image that works for them and it is the public wants to see. (e.g. Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, Ryan Gosling, etc.). But the desire for their personalities will fade, and their talent will hopefully remain, especially these people.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, perhaps who you are isn't what people are looking for right now, but that doesn't mean they never will. Trends change, people become disinterested. Casting Directors are always looking for something fresh. This idea gives me hope, that if I stay true to myself and what I love, then maybe someday someone will notice me for it. And by me trying to be Ryan Gosling, or Tom Hardy is not going to make "it happen" for me any quicker. If they wanted those guys they would hire them. I have to offer me and my passion. No one else's. And Solo Show is really opening my eyes to the fact that I have more to offer than just doing a good job on cold reads, I have something that could be exactly what someone needs, and I need to own it and not wait for other people's opinions of me to act on what I love.

I want to do what inspires me, I don't want to spend the rest of my career trying to be someone else -- the trend of the week. And so I am going forward with a clear mind, and will do what I do best; being me.

Night Abyss.

If you are interested in attending the two day show add yourself to the guest list!
Solo Show!

Forward into the New Year!

Hey Abyss,

I am back from a wonderful and much needed vacation. I learned to never underestimate the feeling of simplicity.

If there was one thing that I am coming back with from my break it is that.

I am normally a pretty self-stressed person and find that I usually pass by the things that I truly enjoy for things that I think need to be done, such as watching a TV show or listening to an album that makes me happy. Speaking of TV shows I am currently watching American Horror Story: Asylum and Mad Men.

I received the first season of Mad Men for Christmas and am throughly enjoying it, which doesn't come as much of a surprise since 3.54 million viewers also share that opinion.

School starts back up on the 8th, but I am presenting some more work on my Solo Show on the 6th to Adam Lazarus and Jodi Essery. I am looking forward to making some more headway with the character I am working on. So far most of my "work" on the piece has been character development, specifically over the last few days. I have spent way too much money on it so far, so here is hoping that something good comes out of our meeting on Sunday.

Other than research and watching TV, not a whole lot has happened since my return to Montreal.

But there is nothing wrong with that.

I am looking forward to what lies ahead for me in 2013. I feel truly blessed for the amazing year that was 2012. My family and friends have honestly been a wonderful source of support throughout the year.

Over the break I had the opportunity to go back to my high school and talk to some of the students in Grade 11 Drama, it was a really wonderful experience to see the desire in some of their faces. I hope that I was able to provide them with valuable information. I really wanted to encourage them to do what they loved and not be trapped in the walls of the small town that we come from. My home town is what is making me the artist that I am becoming, but it is easy to get trapped there and not look outward for the things you love.

I have a few resolutions for myself this year, and I want to work hard on making them a reality rather than another list that is shoved to the back of a desk drawer. I am also going to work really hard this semester on cementing a process for myself with script work. I feel as an artist the process is continually changing, but I want to have some staple things that I always do with the script I am working on at the time.

When we get back we are working for three weeks with Lazlo Martin on Three Sisters, specifically working particular scenes from the play rather than the whole piece. Then we head into rehearsal for The Seagull with Tanja Jacobs. I have been cast as Shamraev (for those of you who know the play that will mean something haha), it is a smaller role but I plan to make the best of it. I am looking forward to being in rehearsal again. I like the process of working towards a larger product.

Anyway, it is getting late so I am heading to bed.

Night Abyss.

Sunday - A Day of Rest?

Hey Abyss,

Things have been busy over the last four weeks. I can't believe how quickly things are moving, but at the same time I am very anxious to get home to my family and friends in the Maritimes.

My classmates and I had a Christmas Party last night which was great, we had so much tasty food and I felt rather classy with my ugly sweater and glass of Whiskey. All I needed was a cigar and I would have been ready for a segment on the Art of Manliness. Of course being surrounded by all the food and Christmas music playing in the background made me a little more homesick. I am really looking forward to the break this year. The last few weeks have been especially draining, energetically.

The two weeks we had with Tanja Jacobs were interesting, to say the least, I felt I had the most fun in the last few days we worked with her. After those days I am quite interested to see how our process goes after the break.

We then worked with Yael Farber for the last two weeks, she is an intense woman. And I mean that in the best sense of the word. I learned a lot from her, she is a very generous and focused person and offered such wonderful insight into the characters that we were working with. The spine of the last two weeks were the text from After Miss Julie by Patrick Marber, and so it was a very fierce exploration, if you know Marber. The class was very sacred to me so I won't delve that much further into it, but I feel that it was exactly what I needed right now in my journey here at the school.

Another NTS moment that I won't soon forget.

We have been bombarded with many little projects lately, that have to be continually percolating with us at all moments of the day. This has made it hard to come home and relax, but everything is changing next semester because we start to move into productions for the next year and a half. As I stated in earlier posts; we have three studios shows next term.

The Seagull Directed by Tanja Jacobs

Solo Show Directed by Adam Lazarus and Jodi Essery

? Shakespeare Directed by Joe Ziegler

I am completely amped to start doing some productions, they are not fully fledged as they are still explorations but we do have public performances which is exciting in itself.

Today, in a couple of hours in fact, I am filming an audition for a movie that is shooting this summer, it is very much a shot in the dark considering it is an open call but I feel that there is no harm in submitting. I'm nervous about it because this is my one shot, its not like a regular audition where there is option to be directed. I submit one take.

Other than that there isn't really anything else going on. We start working on the staged reading of our text that David Yee has written for our class. I anticipate that it will be a fun week, I have some remaining research to do on the text before tomorrow though.

Wish me luck.

Night Abyss

Sunny Days are for Sitting in Bed

Hey Abyss,

It's Wednesday and I am thinking that this may be a good day to get into the habit of writing on. At least for the rest of the summer, which is going by so quickly!

Not much has changed since my last post, I am still doing the readings for Mr. D which has been awesome. Hanging out with the cast and just being treated so equally has been really encouraging.

Not that I have been rejected my whole life, just its nice to feel like part of the team.  There is really no way I can make what I said sound less pathetic so lets just leave it as that...It has been a really wonderful experience.

I went into see my agents yesterday and I potentially have a feature film audition coming up, it just depends whether I can get into audition before I leave for Guysborugh, which is where I am teaching next week. So, that is good news, It would be a day player spot, which is perfect because I am not in the position to have anymore than a few days on set. I say this only because after my frugal two months of living off my girlfriend I will finally have a surplus of money from teaching for the last half of the summer, so I don't want to have to bail on the kids.

I am really looking forward to teaching again this year, I feel after being away at school and just coming into my own a little but more I have a clearer image of how I want to teach and what things to start instilling in the talented rascals that give me company every year for four weeks. Kids really teach me so much about my own craft, they are so true to their emotions and provide such a blunt and unfazed view of reality. They tell you straight up if you are bad or good, or funny or stupid and its with this honesty that you learn as an adult to stop being in your head so much and just let life move through you.

Teaching them truly is a continual inspiration.

Yesterday we received out tentative itinerary for the upcoming school year and I am beyond excited to work with the people we are which includes: Nina Lee Aquino, David Yee, Adam Lazarus, Jodi Essery, Wenyi Mengesha, Maiko Bae Yamamoto, Antoine Bedard AKA Montag, AndrewWade, Jill Kiely and Many others.

I feel so blessed to be attending a school that gives me such opportunity to explore so many facets of this profession.

Last week I went to see a show called She Has A Name, and I was rather disappointed with it. I paid 27 dollars for the show which had an amazing premise so I felt I was going to be blown away. The opposite happened and I was continually distracted by the moving fabric of the set pieces, instead of the text. The show is currently touring Canada and the company is based out of Red Deer. The piece is about sex trafficking in Bangkok, but never really delves into the sheer madness of what occurs there. They raise awareness with the piece but does not leave me with nightmares about what the poor boys and girls go through everyday. And in my opinion, if you are going to do something controversial I expect to see controversy. But perhaps that is just me. The text was written by Andrew Kooman and was produced by Burnt Thicket Theatre.

Then I went to see Shakepeare by the Sea here in Halifax and I was blown away. Perhaps it was due to the disappointment of the last show, or perhaps the cast was just phenomenal. I think it was bit of both.


Thats it for now,

Night Abyss.