I've heard, the best way to learn how to swim is to
be thrown into the deep end. I'm actually a great swimmer, so this idiom
doesn't really apply to me in liquid environments, but it does apply to my
first day on set.
In the last few weeks, as with any new job, I have
found myself learning how to negotiate my needs for each situation while
working to bring the writer/director/producers ideas to life. It's requiring me
to put a lot of trust in the powers that be, which is good for me.
As you may be aware, I have a tendency (I use that
word lightly) to over analyze things. So the less time I have to think about
the situation or ask questions the better. I'm known for wasting all kinds of
time talking rather than doing the task that is required of
me.
Cut to: Me in karate class when I was 13, all I did
was distract my classmates with ramblings of Digimon and going on
Parisian tours. Eventually, it came time to show what we had learned and I was
put into the ring. It went something like this: Karate with Wayne.
When one is only allowed 2 or 3 takes, max, for a
scene, one learns very quickly that there is not a lot of room for failure.
Lessons need to be learned quickly and without much discussion. This is very
different from theatre school where we would all go around, share our feelings
about the scene, discoveries we had made and what worried us. Then we would all
lie on the ground and breathe deeply for about an hour while an unlucky
classmate massaged the tension out of our sweaty backs.
Ahh, the good ol' days.
This particular show is shooting an immense amount
of footage a day, moments lost worrying about trivial things is money out the
window. This lack of time has forced me to start filtering out the most dire
and important questions for the director, and figuring the rest out myself. In
hindsight, this is a valuable lesson to learn for me not only an actor, but
also a person.
Another one of my character flaws is that I, again,
have a tendency, to take things personally. Mainly because I open myself up to
people, more than I need to, and expect them to respect my "honesty and
openness", but unfortunately, society views this as a weakness and people
end up using me for their personal gain. As I get older, I am learning how to
protect my heart and only expose it when it's truly safe. I think a huge lesson
I'm learning here is that although I feel like Lizzie MaGuire in her movie,
working on this project, it's still a job in the real world and I can't let
peoples' insecurities and judgments affect my work.
The rose-tinted glasses have been broken; the
honeymoon period is over.
Although the aforementioned may sound jaded, I want
to state that I feel very taken care of on this show. The cast and crew are
wonderful people, I feel honoured to be surrounded by some extremely talented,
albeit not well known (yet), actors who are wonderful resources for me. Through
them, and listening to their stories I'm learning how to protect my work and
releasing my need for constant approval.
This quote has been motivating me lately:
"When you become confident, your
opinions start to matter and your ability to work with people grows
exponentially." -Kiefer Sutherland.
In case you missed my last post: I have launched, while trying to avoid pretension, my official website and Facebook page. The idea behind the launch is to streamline all of my social media pages into one access point. If you are interested in following me and my journey, I encourage you to take a gander!
W.
