Golden -- I Am Not Afraid.

Today marks the first day of my next adventure. 

I flew in from my final week of filming Olympus last night, as I rode the bus back into Toronto I had a moment, or an exhale, as I realized, "It is done." 

This is not to say that I was waiting for what has been one of the most life changing events of my life to be over, it was acceptance that I've completed one chapter and will now be moving into the next. 

As I sit here, this morning in my bed, with my recently reclaimed cats, kneading my spare pillow into submission, I feel open; I feel excited and inspired. The possibilities have become endless once again. This might scare some, but I am not afraid. Instead, I am thankful. Over the last few months I've had the pleasure and the gift of spending a copious amount of time being with myself; learning who I am. 

I shifted immensely over this project, as always, as an actor and a man. 

I'm slowly cementing the people in my life that make me feel creative, allow me to be myself and encourage my offbeat patterns. Identifying this circle is allowing me to relinquish my need for control, gives me my much-desired confidence and makes me realize that we all need each other. 

Before I flew out to Vancouver, last week, my agent and I had a lovely conversation about where we want to go from here; I'm coming off playing a series lead on a network television show and have a new standard of work that feeds my trajectory. This is not to say that I'm now a classist, entitled actor who will only do a select amount of projects per year, *cough, Daniel Day-Lewis, cough* I'm certainly not in that position (far from it). What it is allowing me to do is give myself perspective and artist choice. 

As ambitious as it may sound, I don't want to be part of a project I'm not proud of. I don't want to look back in 10-15 years and go, "God, why did I do that?" or, "I needed to pay rent.." I will say this enough about my "Joe jobs". I want each and every artistic endeavour to be a source of pride and education. Perhaps it's a lofty idea, only time will tell. I have a wonderful and supportive partner, in my agent, and I know that she has my back; A rarity in the industry. With her and I's partnership at the height it is and me coming off of a project like this; everything is my favour. Now more than ever, it would behoove me to not go out there and kill it in my auditions. 

With my ideals aligned, my partnership strong and my resume improved, the only thing I need to get underneath me, to be truly successful, are my nerves. I have to learn how to work with them, rather than against. I shouldn't be ashamed of my nerves, but should thank them for letting me know I'm alive and passionate. They are part of me. 

Between some good/new friends, the biggest pieces of advice I have received lately are, ironically, to stop taking peoples advice and to start listening to myself. I have been in student mode for so long now and it's imperative for me to step into the artists/adult life; trust my abilities and the experiences I have under my belt. 

I have a tendency to continually ask people for advice, simply because I want to hang out with them or want to talk to them, almost always it turns into me asking them questions I already know the answers to, or walking away without much more perspective than what I went in with. I can meet someone new and not talk about my craft, or how they deal with being an artist, as radical as that may seem; we can simply talk about life. We can talk about their other interests, which are more essential to my work than ego stroking. It also keeps dawning on me that I have worked more than some people twice my age, in TV at least, and need to take pride in that fact. I don't need to start spitting my advice on strangers, but I can rest easy knowing that I carry that experience, both on my resume and on my face. I don't want to lose my positivity and wide-eyed perspective, but I have to step up and become an adult, "Studentmon digivolve to ADULTMON!" 

I have been meeting new people, who aren't actors, who have been making me feel so much more human. They have allowed me to learn about them and hear about their lives, which are vastly different than mine, and rightfully so. It's been refreshing to learn about things besides acting/writing/producing, I love all those things but sometimes one needs perspective. 

Right now, that one is I. 

I have accepted that I will need to get a part time job in the New Year, and am not bothered by that, because I will find something that will supplement my life, rather than become it. That's what I must to remember; My focus is my creative life, not being the best Starbucks barista. 

Life is in a great place for me; I'm golden. 

A good friend of mine and I had dinner the other night and spoke about the ease I feel in life right now and how I do not want to drop below this level again. She replied, "Then don't let it, but if it does acknowledge it, be in that state truthfully, and then rise back up." She is a wise woman. 

And now, I leave you with some Jill Scott: 

Golden

W.

Divine Intervention - Part Two

Continued from Part One...

I told myself that, just being shortlisted didn't guarantee me the role and so I needed to just stay positive and keep going with my plans for the day; I had to babysit that night. 

I left to go to my babysitting job, and when I arrived at the school around 4pm I received another call from my agent saying that I had been, "Shorty-McShort-listed"(her words not mine), and that I should stay by my phone as the director might call me. 

I cannot describe the amount of emotions that were coursing through my body in these moments; nothing seemed real. I was afraid to touch anything and kept thinking that I was going to wake up from this extremely stressful but exciting dream. 

Then, while in the grocery store buying ingredients for strawberry and chocolate cupcakes with the adorable 7-year-old I was babysitting, I got the call. The director introduced himself and gave me the entire trajectory of the character I had auditioned for. The conversation was dominated by him telling me what he expected and me squeaking out responses to his questions, while managing a ravenous (for cupcakes, not blood) little girl. As the conversation came to an end the director told me that "they" would be flying me out Friday and he was excited to meet me. I hung up the phone with my mouth agape, unable to process what had been dropped into my lap.

To clarify, in a matter of hours I went from living in Toronto, washing dishes 6 nights a week to playing a series lead on a network television show. There was no call back, no network panel meet and greet, no Skype call, just a self-tape, positive reinforcement and the divine hands of the universe.

The evening was spent making my final night with this generous, patient and delightful little girl, a memorable one. We played soccer, while I negotiated flight and contract details with my agent, who was flabbergasted at what I had accomplished in only being with her since March. Followed by an emotional and celebratory phone call with my mom, which was similar to this: 

When her and I got home, we made massive chocolate cupcakes filled with sprinkles and strawberries, and ate until our bellies and hearts were content. It was when her parents, my pseudo-parents, came home that reverted back to the situation at hand and asked for their advice: How to pack up my life? How to approach this opportunity with humility and grace? How to make the most of the next 4 months of my life? 

Richard was over the moon excited for me, while Nina played it cool and provided me with some sound advice, as she does: "This is simply a wave, you have to ride it gracefully and do great work. Then return home and keep living your life, the next wave will come when it's meant to. Do not put everything into this; despite it being a great opportunity, it is not the end of your worries." The two of them then helped me to figure out how to get my life in order over the next few days, and prepare for my biggest adventure since going to school in Montreal. 

A few days later, after dropping my cats off to be shipped back to Nova Scotia for a little vacation, I got onto the biggest plane I had ever seen and it finally started to become real. This wasn't an episode of Kenny vs Spenny; this was my reality. I was going to make my home (for the next 4 months) in a place I had never been to before, working on a project that I was passionate about and surrounded by people who respected me for what I could bring to it. 

It's a dream come true. 

My blog has almost reached 12, 000 views (*thank you) and to commemorate such an achievement, I am launching, while trying to avoid pretension, my official website and Facebook page. The idea behind the launch is to streamline all of my social media into one access point, that way readers have the ability to follow "Business Wayne" (LinkedIn, IMDB, etc.) or "Pleasure Wayne" (Twitter, Instagram, Bloggy, etc.).


As Ursula would say, "Make your choice."

(I could't find a clip of Ursula saying it to I found the complete opposite, but I feel as though my original severity remains intact.)

A reader reached out to me this week, and upon researching her (as I do), I found her blog and wanted to mention it here. Not only is she chronicling her journey as an actor, she also provides a dang awesome ginger soup recipe, which is more than I can say I have ever done for you.

Ginger Soup for the Actor's Soul

W.