He Can Be Taught!

Hey Abyss,

I am currently looking over all the posts that I have written this summer and am surprised at how quickly it has all gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was leaving for Ottawa and now here I am leaving for Montreal in 8 days!

The older I get the quicker time passes.

As I am reading and recalling these last 4 months I am really proud of what conclusions I have come too, and the goals I have set for myself going into my 3rd and FINAL year at the National Theatre School of Canada. No longer will I be able to say, that's where I am going, or that I have one more year left.

Now, life as a "Big Actor" begins.

Everything we do this year is in preparation for us moving into the real world, away from our protective walls where we always have opportunities and roles to play with. Where people are constantly supporting us regardless of our behaviour and flaws. Where we have the freedom to fail and retry until we understand and make progress. It all comes down to these last few months, we will never have these beautiful and gracious times again.

Things change and become necessity rather than compliance. Discipline has to start coming from within, not from watching everyone else. The abilities that we have perfected (or neglected) become our meal ticket. Huge studio spaces now transform into small bachelor apartments, and collaborators go back to their community instead of coming to ours.

This all might sound depressing and morbid, but for me it is a realization and a motivator to take advantage of every opportunity I have left this year. To learn as much as I can from every person who walks through those doors, to be open to change and possibility. To expand the way I think and work. To hold that certificate in May and know that I did everything I possibly could to get the education I deserved. Now, I know that this school is not the end all and be all. I know that I will continue to learn from every team and person I work with until the day I die.

But I have goals, as usual.

To summarize: Upon completion I want to have a strong idea of what I am capable of and where I still have room to grow, I want to listen and hear everything. I want to stay positive, even in the desperate times. I want to encourage and promote my classmates instead of bringing them down. I want to create strong and compelling work with every role I get, not just the ones I like. I want to make good impression and stay connected with the people who inspire me. I want to continue working on my self discipline and making sure I will always take care of myself in Mind, Body and Soul.

I know for those of you reading this you are like, "Wow, this kid is really setting himself up for disappointment...that's a lot of goals to fulfil in 8 months..."

I am aware. I like having a check list to work from. I have had so many great (and no so great) experiences this summer that I feel like I have, deeply, changed for the better. I have come to some huge realizations about myself and cannot wait to put them into action in a setting that I have known for two years. This is my time to prove that I am more than capable of this career and I that I will fight to keep it.

BOOM!

Also, great news All the Wrong Reason's will be making its world premiere at TIFF this year! If you are in the area check me out as the Laughing Clerk. And, this weekend I was able to see a rough cut of BONE DEEP (the short film I was in towards the start of the summer) and I am really impressed with how it turned out and cannot wait for it to premiere here in Halifax at the Atlantic Film Festival! 

That's all for tonight; I'm on a Digimon kick. Thanks Netflix.

Night Abyss.

Jet Setting.

Hey Abyss,

Just got back from the auditions for Aladdin Jr. being put on through Stabback Music Studio; the company I am working for over the next three weeks. It was great to be in the room with a slew of new kids and the different energies they bring. I have been feeling quite exhausted and lethargic over the last few days because of all the travelling I have been doing. I flew from Halifax to Montreal yesterday and had to race to my apartment and switch bags before catching the bus to Ottawa. I didn't get in until 11:30pm, which doesn't seem late but since I have been commuting for the last fews days it has started to take its toll on me physically.

Despite me complaining about my sore butt, I am stoked for the next few weeks. I have two of them to direct a full musical production, which is a challenge I have gladly accepted. The last time I directed this particular show was at Truro Junior High School and we had about 4 months... Needless to say, this will be exponentially different. It is a great team of people though so I have no doubts we can pull it off and make sure the kids get the most out their time with us.

These next two months are going to be extremely busy for me, but with all the downtime I have accumulated since May I figure it will be a good balance for my last summer. It is so much healthier for me to be constantly doing things. The most exciting part about this summer is that I am spending a lot of time in places that I have either never been or haven't been in a while, and I am all about new experiences. After I finish up here in Ottawa I am spending sometime in Toronto getting to know the city and hanging out with new and old friends. Then before I return home to Nova Scotia I am seeing Beyoncé live in concert on the Mrs. Carter World Tour in Montreal.

Pretty Solid.

The Ottawa Fringe is this week and I am going to try my best to see as many things as possible. There is a lot of compelling work in the line up and I haven't been to a Fringe Festival in a while, so where better to start then where I am located! My friend, who is ironically from Ottawa, is currently in Calgary performing in the show Girls, Girls, Girls! with Major Matt Mason Collective (despite all the flooding) and when she returns we have plans to put together a double bill of our Solo Shows here. I am looking forward to performing it again for a completely different community.

The more I can do it the better.

On that note: most of my class, this summer, have also performed their Solo Show more than once. It is such a great feeling to have a piece of theatre that you can just whip out and is only 15 minutes long. Truly a wonderful project, and my class put together some amazing work.

I had coffee with Jonathan Torrens on Friday morning and he had some really great advice for me as a performer from the Maritimes. He is a stand up guy and I am grateful he could take the time to hang out with me for a bit. I love being able to talk to other artists and hear their stories and successes, it makes my dreams obtainable.

As time goes on I find myself continually coming to conclusions about myself and my goals as a developing artist and I feel blessed to be surrounded by people who continue to guide me in the right direction. As many struggles and hardships I run into, there is always a lesson to be learned. I am really excited about my third and final year and what lies in store for myself and my classmates. It's been quite the journey so far.

Night Abyss.

Analog.

Hey Abyss,

First of all I want to thank everyone who came out to support me at SOLO-icious last weekend, I truly felt the love. My mom was able to come and see LIONESS and this was the first time she had seen me perform in a couple of years. She was thrilled, and of course had some notes for me afterwards; as she does.

This was the second public performance of LIONESS, my definite third will be happening in Ottawa next month, and I learned so much this time around. The audience was obviously different than the audience at The National Theatre School, albeit just as special. The catch with SOLO-icious is that the audience doesn't know what they have signed on to see, they just buy a ticket for the evening and take the ride. So the audience is intently gathering information about each piece as it comes out, because they are completely unrelated.

All day I had been extremely nervous about how the audience would feel about LIONESS, and my nerves ended up getting the best of me at the start of my piece. As "Wayne" I have a tendency to be very hard on myself and make judgements, for other people, about myself. I create these big personalities, which are my characters, and I have a difficult time letting them live in front of an audience. I lose faith in my abilities sometimes, and it is venomous.

I know the show entirely. Maria is inside of me. I know how she moves and how she thinks about everything and everyone. That's not a question. Granted, what I learned from performing the show last week was that I truly need to let "Wayne" fade to the back when I am playing a character. Of course there are going to elements of myself in everything that I play, but as soon as MY nerves and insecurities filter into the character in suffocates them and they can't do what I have created them for: To be an expression of me as an artist, to tell the story that we develop together. Thus, my performance isn't what it could be and ultimately, I let the character down.

Due to the fact that I also wrote the piece there is more at stake in my mind when I let my nerves get the best of me or I stumble. It is an odd feeling when you trip over the words you wrote. But even the best actors mess up, and even the best actors have bad performances where they feel they didn't do what they are capable of. As self deprecating as this all may sound, I think it is part of this journey as a young actor.

Over the last few weeks I have been talking to some very influential people about my journey into third year, and about my career. A lot of things that happened to me in last semester are starting to drop in and make sense. Somehow over the last two years I have lost sight of aspects of myself and I am looking to reclaim them in the next few months. I want to graduate from NTS as strong as possible. And the only way I can do that is to face my weaknesses head on. This summer so far has been about digging and recalling those weaknesses and thinking about how I can make then strengths.

This stuff is all old hat, I just need to reiterate it for myself. Keeps me accountable.

No auditions of late, the next big thing on my plate is a Personal Training Course that I am preparing for. Other than that I am trying to expose myself to as much inspiration as possible while enjoying my downtime. I head to Ottawa to direct Aladdin Jr. with Stabback Music Studio in 18 days!

Over the weekend my grandfather gave me his Father's wristwatch. It is a self timing watch, which means that it stops ticking when it is not on my wrist. I like that each time I take it off, before I put it on I have to set it. I think it is going to be a great way to teach me how to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Getting my first adult watch makes me feel so grown up, as cheesy as that sounds.

Life is the time we have left, and what we choose to do with it.

Night Abyss.

(Disclaimer: I am not a drag performer. Maria is simply a character who has a story to tell. And I am a man who is choosing to tell it, authentically. I have a lot of respect for drag performers but that is not the point of LIONESS.)

WE BACK!

Hey,

I landed in Halifax on Monday morning.

Summer has officially started in my mind. I am looking forward to what the city has in store for me for the next little bit until I head off to Ottawa/Toronto/Montreal in July. I have just been relaxing with my beautiful GF over the last few days. But we both got back to our routine's today and I have started to put out my feelers for surfacing work.

Tomorrow I have an audition for a comedic short film that I am excited about, its been a while since I have auditioned for something funny. This weekend is shaping up to be chock full o' fun, mostly because Blackbird is having its theatrical release across Canada. In Halifax there are many events planned including a Q&A session with yours truly and some other local actors from the film!  The first weekend is extremely important for Canadian films, if there is a huge interest then the theatre can keep it playing for longer. Keeping it running for as long as possible is the goal. So, if you are reading this spread the word and buy your tickets here: Tickets for the theatre close to you.

I am also excited about seeing Scott Nicks and Jennah Barry live at The Company House on Saturday, they are two local and extremely talented musicians, who I unfortunately haven't seen live yet! Check them out if you are in the area.

The last few days at school were very informative, and gave me a solid goal to marinate with and bring into next year. Although the school is a wonderful foundation for my career, I still have much to learn about life and the industry when I graduate. Thus, I want to make sure I use my final year to my full advantage and make the breakthroughs that will benefit my process and artistry. For me this summer is about working, as usual, but also looking inward and listening to how I can help people and learn from those around me. Whether they are on the bus, or in the rehearsal hall, I need to focus on simply taking everything in and allowing myself to be affected.

I have a tendency to go inward and overanalyze every situation. I need to regain access to my emotions and remember what it is like to work hard on the work I struggle with and get better. Let it flow. Things are usually simpler than I make them. I also want to read quite a bit, there are so many books and plays that I want to immerse myself in, expand my mind, become knowledgeable. Daniel MacIvor said something to all the actors the other day in class, "Actors are essentially professional humans." I want to become the best person I can be, so that I can be other people. This is my personal goal for the summer.

Also get a lot of sun.

Thank you for all your continued support.

Night Abyss.

Summer is Here and I am Inside.

Hey,

Despite the depressing vibe emanating from my entry title; I am very well. I was outside for most of the morning showing a good friend of mine the lay of the land and some of my favourite spots in Montreal. She is here on her "Grad Trip" and wanted to see some of the city, and seeing as it is beautiful out I leapt at the opportunity to show her around!

There is officially one week of school left, and even if I couldn't read a calendar, I can feel it in the air. It's the time of year where things start to pick up and change, the days become longer and productivity seems possible again, because not only do I feel like getting more done but I can be outside doing it! I was talking to a friend of mine last night about how things are changing, because we have come to the end of an era. Most people anticipated that 2012 was the end, and that there wouldn't be anything after that, but thankfully there is and I am so excited to see what the rest of this year brings for me personally and artistically.

I was filling out a form for a scholarship and it asked for the the start and finish dates of the program I intend to use the money for. As I wrote out May 2014 for the end date, it struck me that the end is so close. This part of my life that seemed so far away two summers ago, is one year from now. Life is slowly creeping up, and as much as I don't want to wish away the time, I feel so ready for my final year at NTS.

Last night, I went to see the New Words Festival Shows which are the efforts of all the third year graduates of the Playwriting, Production, Set and Costume Design, and Acting programs and I really enjoyed myself. The first, You Can Do Whatever You Want, was written by Jesse Stong and chronicled the lives of three generations of women in a small town. It was beautiful. I love stories about families and the struggles of reality. The second, Model Wanted, was written by Step Taylor and was so fascinating, I thought each character was deeply interesting and well developed, and the ending left me with this raw exposed nerve feeling that I love having. These experiences made me so excited to see what we will be working with next year.

As time goes on here, I realize how my classmates and I are continually changing and discovering who we are, what we like and don't like and what our futures may hold for us. And since the start of meeting them all I knew our journeys here and in our futures would be so different and I am thrilled to see where we all go after this time together. Life is remarkable and as many struggles that I have had over the last two years, I know that every one of them was necessary for me to be where I am right now. I am slowly discovering clarity over what I want for myself artistically and that is a good feeling.

My summer is shaping up to be quite full of plans and arrangements and I am really excited for the experiences that lie within them. I need to start packing, but it comes down to what do I really need? I really want to indulge in simplicity this summer, and truly live in the present rather than constantly searching for what is coming down the tubes. The more serene my summer is the more time I can dedicate to my work being the best it can be. And really, I would rather it be the best, then be almost the best but then I got distracted with this new project that I really like.

I think that wraps up my thoughts for the day. Bring on the final week.

Jeremy Webb is the meanest director in Halifax (I hope this brings a smile to your face.)

Night Abyss.

When it Rains, It Pours.

Hey Abyss,

On Friday of last week I had an audition for a new film in Halifax called All the Wrong Reasons. I booked the part and am excited to say that I will be sharing a set with Corey Monteith, Adam Brody, Sarah Gadon, Emily Hampshire, Kevin Zegers and Denis Theriualt.

I am beyond stoked.

Hopefully I will get to meet them.

Now the reason for the title today is due to the fact that since being in Guysborough teaching drama to kids I have had more auditions offers then the rest of the summer.

Isn't that the way.

As soon as you are unavailable things start popping up. Luckily my agents are the best and are completely accommodating. Tomorrow morning I am auditioning for Haven yet again.

This is about my 7th time in three seasons. It is for two characters and I am learning the sides as we speak. It would be awesome to nab one of the roles because it films exactly when I am in between teaching jobs.

I was really worried that this summer I wouldn't work as much as I did last summer, but that seems to be perking up. Things have really be working out awesome in the last few days, which ties into my last post of when we stop stressing about life and what it holds for us, it can bring some wonderful opportunities to the table.

The kids I have been teaching this week have been really great and have been teaching me a lot about myself, which is always a plus. I sometimes forget how smart kids are, they are clever and always keep me on my toes. Tomorrow we are choreographing a piece together to prepare them for their performance on Friday and I am excited to see how they will react to being on an actual stage this year (last year we were in a community hall).

I am so happy with how things are going in my life right now, and I really looking forward to taking the happiness and inspiration back to school with me. I feel this year is going to be an important one developmentally and I am ready for the challenge.

Thanks for listening and follow me on Twitter @wayne_burns, and check out my IMDB.

All the Wrong Reasons --> http://seaandbescene.com/2012/07/all-the-wrong-reasons-filming-in-halifax/

Night Abyss