Today marks my second week living in Toronto. Time has already flown by; today and last night were really the only moments that I have let myself enjoy. I went out for sushi by myself last night and had a great conversation with the waiter and the musician who was playing there. I always underestimate the pleasure one can get from eating alone, simply taking in the flavours and the ambiance. Restaurants work hard on creating an environment for their customers and rarely do I take it all in. It was wonderful.
Today is Victoria Day, and I woke up feeling like it's the best time for me to get myself back into a much-needed routine. That is one thing that I find myself missing from school, the routine. I didn't have much time to myself there, but everything was structured and planned out. All I had to do was fit my life into the time slots. Over the last week I have slipped into some negative states and fallen back into some old habits, I simply need to find structure again to pull me out of this pool of ooze.
Now comes the challenge.
I have been thinking about what is important to me: maintaining my craft, staying on top of my game, and dominating when an audition comes along. I am fearful that all the work I have done over the last 3 years will start to melt away if I don't stay on top of it. I simply need to establish self-discipline and start to manage my own time, easier said then done.
Ain't nothin' to it but to do it.
It's weird, I have felt on vacation for the last week and only now is it starting to sink in that this is my life.
On Thursday, I got a job as a dishwasher/line cook at a locally owned restaurant 2 minutes down the road from my apartment. I have put in 2 workdays already and am working all week starting Wednesday. It's 40 hours a week, and only evenings and weekends (this is the perfect schedule to accommodate my audition schedule). I am really stoked to be working again and I am surprisingly really enjoying the simplicity of washing dishes. It's constant work, which makes the time go by quickly. Cool people surround me and let me work in silence, if I choose. I feel this job, will help me achieve serenity and allow me to focus inward rather than constantly being in a state of performance and accommodation to those around me. I think it will be a nice foil to my acting life.
I am still babysitting, and thoroughly enjoying that. Both of these jobs offer me something completely different and require me to use very opposite skills. I love it. It has been a while since I have felt this content. I know that everything is where it should be. I am poor, but that’s only temporary. I am alone, but that's perfect; I am excited for the next opportunity to act, which is exactly how I want to feel. I need to revel in this simplicity and embrace the fact that this is what I have been wanting for a while. I do have a lot of friends here, but I have been transplanted into their lives and I understand that it will take a while to merge our lives together. At the very least, I know that I have a support system, which makes me feel safe and happy.
I had a wonderful meeting with my agent on Thursday. It was super chill and casual, which allowed me to confide my fears and desires to her. I left that meeting feeling ready to step into battle. I know that our relationship is going to be stellar and I cannot wait to see where she takes me. I just have to loosen my grip on having control over my career, as we need to work together. People that want the best for me, who are able to be candid and supportive surround me. I feel blessed to have found these people and really want to be around them as much as possible. Not only do the give me great advice, but they teach me how to fight for what I want.
On Wednesday, I have an interview for the SummerWorks Leadership Intensive Program and am very excited. I would love to be a part of the program and need to focus on nailing that interview. They only take a limited about of people, and knowing that I have made it to this round is encouraging. It is a program that specializes in leadership within the arts and has a large focus on the business side: how to produce work, how to market that work, and who to market it to. All the while, being introduced to mentors and the juggernauts of the Toronto arts community. All of this excites me immensely.
I feel my positivity growing as each day passes, and I love meeting new people. These last few days have really restored my faith in humanity and that is awesome. If you put out positivity and honesty you can only get it back. It is helping me to be more authentic with my needs and myself as a young man. There is so much to see, eat, hear, love, dream, and experience right now; I want to do it all. And right now, I can.
P.S. If you haven't already heard All the Wrong Reasons will be released on DVD via Amazon.ca on June 23rd, 2014. Depending on your area it might vary. Make sure you look for yours truly :)
Blackbird has yet to have a release date, but you can always check it out on iTunes.