A Beginner's Guide to Living An Actor's Life.

Hey Abyss,

Today marks my second week living in Toronto. Time has already flown by; today and last night were really the only moments that I have let myself enjoy. I went out for sushi by myself last night and had a great conversation with the waiter and the musician who was playing there. I always underestimate the pleasure one can get from eating alone, simply taking in the flavours and the ambiance. Restaurants work hard on creating an environment for their customers and rarely do I take it all in. It was wonderful.

Today is Victoria Day, and I woke up feeling like it's the best time for me to get myself back into a much-needed routine. That is one thing that I find myself missing from school, the routine. I didn't have much time to myself there, but everything was structured and planned out. All I had to do was fit my life into the time slots. Over the last week I have slipped into some negative states and fallen back into some old habits, I simply need to find structure again to pull me out of this pool of ooze.

Now comes the challenge.

I have been thinking about what is important to me: maintaining my craft, staying on top of my game, and dominating when an audition comes along. I am fearful that all the work I have done over the last 3 years will start to melt away if I don't stay on top of it. I simply need to establish self-discipline and start to manage my own time, easier said then done.

Ain't nothin' to it but to do it.

It's weird, I have felt on vacation for the last week and only now is it starting to sink in that this is my life.

On Thursday, I got a job as a dishwasher/line cook at a locally owned restaurant 2 minutes down the road from my apartment. I have put in 2 workdays already and am working all week starting Wednesday. It's 40 hours a week, and only evenings and weekends (this is the perfect schedule to accommodate my audition schedule). I am really stoked to be working again and I am surprisingly really enjoying the simplicity of washing dishes. It's constant work, which makes the time go by quickly. Cool people surround me and let me work in silence, if I choose. I feel this job, will help me achieve serenity and allow me to focus inward rather than constantly being in a state of performance and accommodation to those around me. I think it will be a nice foil to my acting life.

I am still babysitting, and thoroughly enjoying that. Both of these jobs offer me something completely different and require me to use very opposite skills. I love it. It has been a while since I have felt this content. I know that everything is where it should be. I am poor, but that’s only temporary. I am alone, but that's perfect; I am excited for the next opportunity to act, which is exactly how I want to feel. I need to revel in this simplicity and embrace the fact that this is what I have been wanting for a while. I do have a lot of friends here, but I have been transplanted into their lives and I understand that it will take a while to merge our lives together. At the very least, I know that I have a support system, which makes me feel safe and happy.

I had a wonderful meeting with my agent on Thursday. It was super chill and casual, which allowed me to confide my fears and desires to her. I left that meeting feeling ready to step into battle. I know that our relationship is going to be stellar and I cannot wait to see where she takes me. I just have to loosen my grip on having control over my career, as we need to work together. People that want the best for me, who are able to be candid and supportive surround me. I feel blessed to have found these people and really want to be around them as much as possible. Not only do the give me great advice, but they teach me how to fight for what I want.

On Wednesday, I have an interview for the SummerWorks Leadership Intensive Program and am very excited. I would love to be a part of the program and need to focus on nailing that interview. They only take a limited about of people, and knowing that I have made it to this round is encouraging. It is a program that specializes in leadership within the arts and has a large focus on the business side: how to produce work, how to market that work, and who to market it to. All the while, being introduced to mentors and the juggernauts of the Toronto arts community. All of this excites me immensely.

I feel my positivity growing as each day passes, and I love meeting new people. These last few days have really restored my faith in humanity and that is awesome. If you put out positivity and honesty you can only get it back. It is helping me to be more authentic with my needs and myself as a young man. There is so much to see, eat, hear, love, dream, and experience right now; I want to do it all. And right now, I can.

Night Abyss.

P.S. If you haven't already heard All the Wrong Reasons will be released on DVD via Amazon.ca on June 23rd, 2014. Depending on your area it might vary. Make sure you look for yours truly :)

Blackbird has yet to have a release date, but you can always check it out on iTunes.

Education Vs Entertainment

Hey,

If you have been following my Facebook and Twitter updates you will know how busy this weekend has been regarding the premiere of Blackbird across Canada. The film opened this past Friday in 4 theatres, and will be expanding to more over the next few weeks, so if it has not come to your city yet, check out the future screenings here: Screening Info.

Today was the last event on the docket for opening weekend here in Halifax, it was a Q&A with some of the local actors from the film (including myself). It was a fairly small audience but this was most likely due to One: the Rain, which is of biblical proportions and Two: the fact that Iron Man 3 and The Great Gatsby also happened to open this same weekend. Nonetheless, the audience was extremely supportive and curious about the film and its journey. Something that has been talked about, at most of the screenings I have had the pleasure of attending, is how relevant the film is to youth and the effects of social media today. As teenagers and even as young adults we sometimes underestimate the severity of what we can put out online, via text message or even Skype! Things can become misconstrued because there is a piece of technology between us and the receiver, and these things can lead to extreme situations.

For those of you who have not heard about the film or are still on the fence about taking time out of your schedule to see it, the aforementioned is the situation that is dealt with in the film. How one teenage impulse is blown completely out of proportion and proceeds to damage a whole community. A situation that is all too relevant to what we have all seen in the media of late, with all the cases of bullying and suicide I think that there is absolutely no better time for this movie to be surfacing.

This afternoon we were discussing the fact that Iron Man 3 was sold out in both theatres, and Blackbird only had about 30 people in it. Here is a film that people are walking away from learning something about themselves and the children around them, and yet it can't pull in audiences like a movie about a bionic man, it is mildly upsetting. The fact that this film is Canadian means that it already has a bad rap before it even gets out of the gate, people don't want to see it because there is no explosions or hot celebrities in it and its not American. This is a sad but true fact. There are extremely talented people involved with this film, at least 90% being local. It is filmed in Nova Scotia and it is about Nova Scotia, and it is educational on all levels. I find it strange that more people would not want to see something like this.

There was couple that talked to me after the Q&A and they said they want to bring there son so that he can see how the path that he is on will only lead to destruction, and that there is hope for him. My question is when did entertainment become more important than education? I mean, I am all for the beauty and escapism that comes from films, hell my girlfriend and I can't wait to see The Great Gastby next weekend, but when there is something in your community, about your community, and could educate you or bring awareness to a situation you haven't been privy too -- why wouldn't you want to see something like that? Is it really that much of a hassle to make time to see that film first? It is certainly cheaper than seeing Iron Man 3 in 3D!

I am not going to try to figure out peoples motivations for what they see and don't see, I just would hope that the question is left to sit in your mind. Film can be so many things, but don't let the educational part of art be passed by for simple, mind numbing entertainment. The more we can learn and educate ourselves about one another the more we can help change the world around us, and film is such a beautiful starting place for change. Do yourself a favour and walk away from the theatre thinking, its only 12 bucks worst case scenario.

Audition update: Didn't get the part; I am too short and didn't look enough like a stoner. But they liked me and if they can get the money for a pilot they are thinking of writing something for me, which is sick!

I am going to drink some tea and and read about Prince.

Night Abyss. 

WE BACK!

Hey,

I landed in Halifax on Monday morning.

Summer has officially started in my mind. I am looking forward to what the city has in store for me for the next little bit until I head off to Ottawa/Toronto/Montreal in July. I have just been relaxing with my beautiful GF over the last few days. But we both got back to our routine's today and I have started to put out my feelers for surfacing work.

Tomorrow I have an audition for a comedic short film that I am excited about, its been a while since I have auditioned for something funny. This weekend is shaping up to be chock full o' fun, mostly because Blackbird is having its theatrical release across Canada. In Halifax there are many events planned including a Q&A session with yours truly and some other local actors from the film!  The first weekend is extremely important for Canadian films, if there is a huge interest then the theatre can keep it playing for longer. Keeping it running for as long as possible is the goal. So, if you are reading this spread the word and buy your tickets here: Tickets for the theatre close to you.

I am also excited about seeing Scott Nicks and Jennah Barry live at The Company House on Saturday, they are two local and extremely talented musicians, who I unfortunately haven't seen live yet! Check them out if you are in the area.

The last few days at school were very informative, and gave me a solid goal to marinate with and bring into next year. Although the school is a wonderful foundation for my career, I still have much to learn about life and the industry when I graduate. Thus, I want to make sure I use my final year to my full advantage and make the breakthroughs that will benefit my process and artistry. For me this summer is about working, as usual, but also looking inward and listening to how I can help people and learn from those around me. Whether they are on the bus, or in the rehearsal hall, I need to focus on simply taking everything in and allowing myself to be affected.

I have a tendency to go inward and overanalyze every situation. I need to regain access to my emotions and remember what it is like to work hard on the work I struggle with and get better. Let it flow. Things are usually simpler than I make them. I also want to read quite a bit, there are so many books and plays that I want to immerse myself in, expand my mind, become knowledgeable. Daniel MacIvor said something to all the actors the other day in class, "Actors are essentially professional humans." I want to become the best person I can be, so that I can be other people. This is my personal goal for the summer.

Also get a lot of sun.

Thank you for all your continued support.

Night Abyss.

Snap Back to Reality.

Hey Abyss,

Many discoveries were made last week. I think the one that had the most impact on me was being put on the spot for not knowing my lines. That seems like a basic thing, an actor knowing their lines, but for some reason I have always struggled with memorizing text. Not a good quality to have in an actor, but it is not the worst thing. I can honestly tell you I have never gone on stage not knowing my lines, I have always managed to get everything down before we open, it just seems to takes me a lot longer than everyone else. Being at NTS has certainly enabled me to get better at locking the words in my brain by offering me a bounty full of approaches to do just that. 

I felt I had been doing well with my text for Midsummer Nights Dream and therefore over the last week, in anticipation for the weekend (which I will get into in a moment) did not do what is necessary for myself for the last part of my text. And, as it should, it came back to bite me. 

A few weeks ago I was offered a lead part in a short film that was being shot in Halifax, by a well known Actor/Director, named Jeremy Webb. His company’s previous film Wake garnered some notable attention in the festival circuit and was being back by CBC, not a bad combo. When the role was offered to me I clarified that the only way I could fly home and do it was to get the permission from my superiors at the school. So, I proceeded that Monday to acquire all the approval I needed, which was graciously given and I agreed to do the short that weekend. The plan was to fly home Thursday night and fly back Monday morning. So I would only miss two days of classes. 

Everything seemed to flow perfectly until Thursday came and I kept flubbing through my lines in the final part of the play. And it was at this time when I was put on the spot, by my director. I had been working extremely hard on my text, but due to the excitement of the weekend I failed to give it the added time I know it needed. This ultimately disappointed him, and made me feel like a complete schmuck, especially considering his generosity. He was harsh and to the point, and it was that snap back to reality that made me realize the lesson; Which was to focus on one thing at a time, and give it 150% of my energy. This problem is something that has been an issue for a while with myself. And I think it took this situation to finally let it sink in. 

Do your best with what you have right now. Then when that is over, focus on the next thing. This is my mantra for the next while until I can calm down and just enjoy what is in front of me rather than worrying about what is coming next. It is difficult, but this is what I want for a career more than anything else, and so I have to let it flow. 

The stress from not knowing my lines and disappointing my director, lead to me heading to the airport 12 hours earlier than my flight was scheduled to leave and left me stranded there for 4 hours until a friend of mine came and picked me up. Again, if I had just read the itinerary of the flight and chilled, instead of thinking how I may have been blacklisted from the class, that would not have happened and I would have been 60 dollars richer. Once, I finally got back to Halifax, everything became clearer and I spent every bit of downtime I had on set memorizing those lines for Monday. I came back yesterday, having done what should have been done and it feels good to be free of that pressure. 

Filming over the weekend was great and reminded me of how much I love film as a medium. The team was wonderful and there was such an artistry behind the whole thing, which made me feel proud to be part of it. The atmosphere on set, even though we were rushed for time, was positive and happy. There was a specific moment I recall on the second day where I was talking to Jessica Marsh over lunch and the crew and other cast members were all playing music and singing together, and it was this moment that encapsulated the whole shoot for me. A bunch of talented people coming together to make art. It was beautiful. And I am extremely grateful to have been part of such a piece. 

The film is called Bone Deep, and if you hit the link you can read more about it. 

We are into tech week right now for MSND, and so I have some things that need to get done tonight before I hit the hay. 

Night Abyss

Not only am I Average but I am a Noob, and certainly not a Day Owl

When people call themselves "Night Owls" I always get confused. I have personally used the term myself, which always leads to more confusion due to the fact that I don't understand the term to begin with. Because is there anything but "Night Owls"? I have never heard of "Day Owls". Thus I remain confused and still using the term.  Somehow, I don't think I am the first to use a term that one does not understand. Perhaps I could start implementing the term into my daily vocabulary. "Day Owl". I am certainly not one. It is 3am and I have to work in less than 4 hours, yet here I am creating this Blog.

Today was an interesting day; I went to my day job, which is a mobility provider and proceeded to take care of customers in a timely fashion. Timely being an ironic word due to the fact that I was late, which I can assure you never happens; I am always punctual.  Now, I had received a call from my agent previously this week regarding an audition today. So, pitching the idea of me leaving work for an audition seemed like it was going to be a challenge, considering that I was late. My manager and I have only know each other for a small amount of time due to me being a transfer from my home town 4 months ago. To my surprise the challenge was not really a challenge at all (As you will soon find out that I am a person who considers the worst consequences for situations), my manager let me go and I was able to get to my audition with time to spare.  This audition was for a casting agency who I have auditioned for multiple times, they are currently casting a very popular show. And regardless of my consistency I have yet to garner a role in anything. Needless to say I just keep going back.  I guess my best hope is to finally get into the Union so I am more readily available for film and television work, because without this status you are like a 15 year-old looking for a job with no work experience. Basically someone has to take pity on you and give you a job before you can start racking up the experience. This is my goal for the year, someone to take pity on me like a 15 year-old.  To continue to play on the 15 year-old analogy I sometimes feel like a superhero in a sense: By day, I am your friendly neighborhood mobility Sales Consultant. By night, a wouldbe actor just trying to get noticed, whilst trying to maintain a living and pay the rent on time.

Apparently you are just supposed to write on this thing, so here I am just writing to the abyss. Not knowing if anyone anywhere will ever read this. Hopefully I started it off this relationship well. A relationship that will hopefully last much longer than my past romantic ones.

Goodnight Abyss.