My body rejected me this morning.
As per usual.
I had to work at 8am this morning with only 4 hours of sleep, it was brutal. I went to work and actually slept on the floor while doing inventory. I was able to catch up some during this time, thus continuing my shift in overtired mode. This is another complexity I will never fully understand.
At my job we are paid on both commission and an hourly rate. This makes things quite competitive, and as those who know me, I am quite competitive. I am trying to sell as much as I can this month and meet my targets because I have the goal to be top sales in our store month over month. It is silly how menial this is but it is all I have for excitement right now in my life, sans girlfriend and school starting soon. On this topic, I have been accepted into a one year theatre intensive program at the local theatre in the city I am residing. The issue is that I am an average dude, who is trying to become an actor. This translates into . . . I am broke. So to avoid the issue of me trying to scrounge up the money to pay for the program I have applied for the scholarship associated with it. I feel I should be the recipient due to the fact that I put a lot of hard work into gathering the best recommendations for myself and making myself sound poor; I contemplated saying that I was raised by goats (which is not an exaggeration at all). I was accepted into the program in early July and was told that they would be making the decision for the scholarship towards the end of the month because the deposit for holding your place was due August 13, 2010.
I havent heard a 'yes' or 'no' yet.
Check the date.
Yeah I am a little miffed.
I mean the least they could do is tell me that I didn't get it so I could stop stressing, but no, they would rather watch me writhe in question like an ant beneath a sun-glazed magnifying glass. This scholarship is a crucial part to my life come September. I say this because if I don't get it I am just continuing to work full time until I can audition for the bigger schools across Canada for acting. Now, if I do get I am going to be able to train and be more prepared for the schools when audition time comes around. My roommate and I have discussed it to death and him and I both agree that I am going to feel more comfortable with pre-training than none at all and be going in blind. This is coming from the guy who was accepted into the most prestigious theatre school in Canada first time out, so I kind of trust him.
I haven't heard anything back from the commercials that I auditioned for last Friday, and certainly nothing from the audition yesterday. Acting is a waiting game. Perhaps you wouldn't think this, but it is true on so many levels it is strange people don't always think of the two of the simultaneously. I find things to be most effective when I don't dwell on the outcomes, whether they be positive or negative. The good thing right now is that I am preparing for a show next week. I have been working on it for the last four months and we are finally nearing the performance; which is my favorite part. The show is making its world premier in my city and I am the lead. I am excited because it has been so long since I have done a live show and my body needs it like a cocaine addict needs another hit. The adrenaline is was binds me to the stage. That and the reaction from the audience when you fully suspend their disbelief. More on this later...
I finished my work day early because I had come in at the crack of dawn, or at least what seemed like it. And as I finally get into my car to drive home it doesn't start. That right, the battery just didn't pick up. So I walked home in the blazing heat that makes me believe that ice caps are in fact melting. Now here I am, sitting on the couch that my roommate found in the garbage, attempting to find a way to kill fruit flies. Any suggestions?
All the Best Abyss.