Sunday, March 17, 2013

March happens to be a good month for me.

Hey Abyss,

These last two weeks have been amazing for me. Similar to last year, this month has proven to be a very cleansing period for me. My March Break was last week, and I worked almost everyday on prep for my Solo Show. I had forgotten what it was like to motivate myself and work on something that I am proud of. That sounds sad, but it isn't. I find myself forgetting to have fun and treat the work that we do at the school as my own, rather than an assignment I have to do.

Solo Show has been truly wonderful at this point in the year, we just came out of our first production where we as a class had to work together like a pseudo theatre company, which was an interesting first experience for some of us, and not as much for others. The whole thing (process. character development, etc.) was a mutual effort, rather than singular processes coming together. Everything is still a learning curve at this point for me, so no judgement. Solo Show is different, because it is completely singular and process based project. We write, perform and produce our own 15-20 minute show. Everyone in my class is doing something completely different, and are each having our own challenges to deal with in front of our directors/collaborators, Adam Lazarus and Jodi Essery.

The Solo Show project at NTS is a right of passage, and I give so much credit to Jodi and Adam for dedicating the time to all 13 of us (this includes the 2nd year playwrights) to make our shows what we want them to be. They truly deserve awards for the patience and attention span they both possess. My script was approved yesterday and I feel a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I consider myself a rather organized performer and can only deal with one thing at a time. I have perfected my character visually, and physically, so the next step for me was getting my script done.

Half of us will be performing on March 22nd and the other half is going on the 23rd. I am really excited to see the changes to my show over the course of the next week. The anticipation to see everyone else's pieces is killing me, because I know everyone is gonna kill it. I am going to keep my show a secret at this point. but will go into more detail after I perform.

Because my class spends so much time together, it is easy to fall into the thinking of "we know so much about each other and our performance abilities", but this project is an opportunity to show our classmates that we are capable of more than what they think, and also to challenge ourselves. I cannot wait to learn something new about everyone. We are all so different, and I tend to forget that sometimes.  When we all graduate we are going back to our communities and what dreams we have in mind, we are not mutually going back together.

This thought occurred to me today; There is no sense in comparing yourself to other people because you can actually never be them. You may be able to emulate them visually, or in their mannerisms. But there is something special about each an everyone of us, and we all fit a particular role, ourselves. The issue that a lot of actors face is whether that niche is what the Casting Directors are looking for. The artists that are prevalent now, have a certain personality or image that works for them and it is the public wants to see. (e.g. Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, Ryan Gosling, etc.). But the desire for their personalities will fade, and their talent will hopefully remain, especially these people.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, perhaps who you are isn't what people are looking for right now, but that doesn't mean they never will. Trends change, people become disinterested. Casting Directors are always looking for something fresh. This idea gives me hope, that if I stay true to myself and what I love, then maybe someday someone will notice me for it. And by me trying to be Ryan Gosling, or Tom Hardy is not going to make "it happen" for me any quicker. If they wanted those guys they would hire them. I have to offer me and my passion. No one else's. And Solo Show is really opening my eyes to the fact that I have more to offer than just doing a good job on cold reads, I have something that could be exactly what someone needs, and I need to own it and not wait for other people's opinions of me to act on what I love.

I want to do what inspires me, I don't want to spend the rest of my career trying to be someone else -- the trend of the week. And so I am going forward with a clear mind, and will do what I do best; being me.

Night Abyss.

If you are interested in attending the two day show add yourself to the guest list!
Solo Show!

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